Body Image

I only have a small, head size mirror at my home. So when I recently stayed at a hotel in Udaipur with Vincent, where there was a full length mirror, for the first time in many months I saw my whole body and ….. it was not me!  That was my first thought. My own body image was different from what I was seeing in the mirror. It was very strange to be looking at someone else yet also knowing it was me! I knew that I had lost a lot of weight but that skinny person in the mirror didn’t look like me at all. Yes, I’m trying to put the weight back on, but with summer now almost here, I am drinking more than eating. I guess I’ll have to wait until I get back to Canada and hope I don’t disappear altogether before then.

If you have come here to help me, you are wasting your time...but if you have come because your liberation is bound up with mine, then let us work together.  
Lilla Watson (Australian Aboriginal Woman)

 

 

Links to Mt. Abu and Udaipur trip

Mt. Abu pictures
http://picasaweb.google.ca/lh/sredir?uname=takefman&target=ALBUM&id=5454656996088801969&authkey=Gv1sRgCISypYaYtNXM0gE&feat=email

Udaipur pictures

http://picasaweb.google.ca/lh/sredir?uname=takefman&target=ALBUM&id=5454662343019971553&authkey=Gv1sRgCKLU-fCY6fH0jAE&feat=email

Mt. Abu, Udaipur and Birthdays

I didn’t leave early in the morning to Mt. Abu to catch the cooler air. But that was ok, the temperatures are getting hotter but on the motorcycle you constantly have an airflow.  Of course in the middle of summer this airflow is often over 45C degrees but these days it’s tolerable.
I was the only large bike on the road and one of the few guys with a helmet and only one with a white helmet.  Maybe that’s why the highway police stopped me. I pulled over and took off my helmet and the officer recognizing he had a foreigner to deal with, asked me where I was going.  “Mt. Abu” I said and he signalled me on. That was it. But I pulled out my handmade map and asked him if my route was ok to which he agreed.
My route through flat desert terrain was now familiar to me, so when I started to see mountains off in the distance getting closer I was eager to get into their midst. Mt. Abu is called a hill station and is situated in the Aravalli Range, one of the oldest in the world, at about 1723 metres (5,653 feet) above sea level. Not that high but high enough to be a bit cooler. In the past winter the temps dropped to 0C while it was still 10C in Barmer.
I stopped at a petrol station along the way(I still have to consciously think the word “petrol” instead of “gas”) to ask directions.  Some older men sitting in the shade ordered one of the boys to go get me water and told me that Mt. Abu was 50kilometers away by highway and 25kilometers by hill.  I wanted to do the hill of course, but never found the turn-off. But the route in was still quite marvellous.  (a link to the pics will soon be posted on this BLOG) A narrow twisty road rising through an open forest of naked trees. Traveling at 50 kph allowed me to enjoy the ride and the scenery at the same time.
Mt. Abu is a tourist destination, and at this time of year it was almost 100% Indian tourists.  There were very expensive to very cheap hotels available all around a lake that has lost more than half its water volume.  Still, boat rentals were popular so long as you packed at least 5 into a rowboat that was rowed by a guide.  They wouldn’t allow me to row my own boat and go off by myself, so I passed on that marine adventure. 
I found a 200 rupee a night hotel, basic and clean, and spent two nights there.  The next day was my birthday and I got up and went to Coffee Day, where they have real brewed coffee, and had a cappuccino and a veg sandwich for breakfast.  I was surprised to see that they were selling a French coffee press (Bodum) and for 250 rupees I bought myself a birthday present. I bought the only one they had.
From the map I had of the town, I decided to go find this place called Toad Rock, but on the way got side tracked by an interesting road through a poor part of town and ended up at the base of a nearby mountain which called to me.  So up I trekked in my flip-flops of course.  It didn’t take me more than half an hour to get to the twin peaks and I hung out there in the cool breeze looking down at the lake and boats and mobs of tourists below.  My water bottle was spiked with rehydration solution, an essential ingredient for me these days, so I was feeling well and peaceful as the man on the mountain.

The highway to Udaipur was recently built and was close to North American standards. Signage was not great but then there was only one road to travel on so you couldn’t really get lost.  Well I could as there was no sign for the Udaipur turnoff, so I kept going when I shouldn’t have. One of the design problems with the four-lane divided highway was that for over 80 kilometres was that there were few opportunities for vehicles to cross over the median.  This meant that there was often two way traffic on each side of the highway, so the assumption that just because you’re on the “correct” side of the road means you have the right of way, is dust in the wind.  And of course as I have written before, there are all those other challenges on the road to be cautious about, even a multi-lane highway.
Udaipur is a fairly large city and not laid out in a way that navigation is easy.  But my traveling experiences have taught me to stop often and ask directions and in this way I was able to find, without too much trouble, the hotel that Vincent had booked.
Vincent had just finished his two year VSOI volunteer posting in Pune and was doing some touring around India before he went back to the UK.  He was going to go to the Mt. Everest base camp as well in the weeks ahead.  So he had wanted to see Udaipur and booked an expensive hotel room with a view of the lake.  He allowed me to stay with him and pay him what I could afford, which was very generous of him. I arrived before him and checked in to a marvellous hotel, squeezed in at the end of a narrow street, right on the lake.  It was very cute and comfortable and I headed straight for the shower.  Vincent arrived later in the afternoon and by chance he saw me in the streets from his taxi from the airport was taking him in.  So I hopped into his cab and went to the hotel.  I spent the next two days sightseeing with him and drinking beer.  One of the sights we visited was the Monsoon Temple, some 7 kilometres out of town on top of a mountain (where else?).  We took an auto-rickshaw to the base and walked up the road to the top, getting there just in time to see the sunset, as was our plan.
I spent an afternoon with Bruce, a Canadian who has been living in India on and off for ten years working as a consultant for Seva Mandir, one of Rajasthan’s largest NGOs.  I had contacted him because Ann had met him on one of her trips here and suggested I get together with him. He has been working on water conservation and sanitation issues and had some interesting stories to tell. Like the one about the eco-toilets that were installed that no one uses because a) no one asked the locals if they wanted them and b) no one trained them on how to use these devices.
I also spent time with Chanchal’s brother, Himachu  who lives in Udaipur.  He came to the hotel and picked Vincent and me up and took us out for dinner and a visit to his mother. As we drove through Udaipur in the dark he pointed out the many sight along the way. He was very generous with his time and it was nice to get to know him.

Friday back to Barmer and I meandered through the desert, deviating from my planned route as I got different directions along the way. About 25 kilometres from Barmer the bike died.  It seemed like the same electrical problem I had on my last trip.  I called Vishal and he set out to come get me.  But even though I was in the middle of an empty desert, before long about ten Indian men were around me trying to help me get the bike going again. They didn’t really do anything but they got it started somehow and I continued my journey until I met Vishal along the road.  My whole journey was about 832 kilometres (516 miles), start to finish and I think that my biking time is now curtailed until the after the summer heat.

The older I grow, the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdom. - H. L. Mencken

Codes of Conduct in the West as Different from those in India

By Mark L. Takefman With thanks to Margaret R. Campbell, Louse Creber and Michael Rosenkrantz for their contributions

This guide is intended for those Indians who will one day visit a western country and need to be aware of certain cultural behaviours that are different from those in their own county.  I’m not including every difference such as driving codes and attitudes, just some of the basic differences a newbie to Canada or America might need to know when they get off the plane. These include, but are not limited to:

General Public Behaviour

·       No spitting.

·       No blowing your nose in public without using a tissue.

·       No picking your nose in public.

·       No scratching your groin or rear end in public.

·       No urinating in public, use a public washroom.

·       No littering.

·       It is not polite to stare at people, some people will even get mad and begin a fight with you.

·        No “J” walking, that is crossing a road in the middle of a block instead of at a corner. (this is not enforced everywhere)

·       Form lines and no line or “Q” jumping.

·       Don’t push and shove anyone.

·       When getting onto a train, metro, trolley or bus etc. always wait outside until disembarking passengers are off first.

·       It’s ok for a man to shake hands with a woman and visa versa.

·       Time: well let’s just say, it’s not the same in the West. It’s much faster in the West

·       Time: part two, being late is ill-considered unless some good reason is given. What is late, usually more than 10 to 15 minutes in most cases.

·       Don’t be surprised to find most things in USA and Canada are made in China.

·       Smoking is not permitted in many public and private places.

·       Woman’s clothing is often much more revealing.

·       Men can wear shorts (short pants) in public.

·       An individual’s personal space (around their own body) is larger than in India, stand back.

·       People don’t smile as much as they do in India, but it’s ok to smile.

·       Dogs and cats are common household pets.

·       Lotteries are legal and there are numerous ticket booths to purchase your luck. But be advised, lotteries are nothing more than a tax on those with poor mathematical skills. Still, it’s sometimes nice to dream.

Medical

·       You should have some emergency medical insurance when travelling.

·       If you have an emergency medical situation, the health care system in Canada is free upon entry.  You may have to pay a fee after your incident which you would claim back from your insurance company.

·       In the USA, you (generally) need to have insurance or show that you can pay for services on the spot.

·       Many of the drugs you can buy over the counter in India are prescription drugs in North America and you cannot purchase them from the Pharmacist (i.e. the chemist) with out a Doctors script.

·       You purchase medical drugs from a Pharmacy or Drug Store.

Shopping

·       Bartering for goods is not the norm, it does happen, but very rarely.  Most items for sale are fixed prices. But many stores (shops) have ongoing SALES with lowered prices.

·       Most items in stores have electronic tags on them to protect against shoplifters. If your purchased items have not been de-commissioned at the cash register, when you leave the store your products will ring alarm bells, and if there is one, a guard will stop you.

·       While cash is always acceptable, many people use credit cards to pay for things.

·       Many public places and stores have video cameras to watch your every move.

Conversation

·       Do not interrupt conversations in progress unless it is urgent. Wait for a time to speak.

·       Do not speak in a loud voice.

·       It’s not ok to ask how old or any other personal questions or to remark how fat or make any other negative personal observation.  Positive comments are welcome like: “You look great in that dress.” (this would be to a woman of course)

·       On the other hand – how did you meet your wife/husband a good opener, unlike in India

Privacy

·       Do not drop by uninvited.

·       Respect the privacy of others, especially around ATMs (ABMs as they are also called)

·       Do not investigate the drawers, closets, purses, luggage or any other item in someone’s household .

·       Not generally ok to ask where someone is going or what they are doing or to peer into their shopping bags.

·       Curiosity in general discouraged.

The Washroom

·       You won’t find squat toilets.

·       Toilet paper is used in the washrooms instead of water and hands, sometimes you can find a bidet, but not in public places.

·       Many public toilets and urinals have automatic flushing mechanisms so you don’t have to touch any handles. 

·       And many public sinks also have automatic water valves on sensors.

·       You still wash your hands after using the washroom.

·       Paper towels and/or electric blow drying units are available to dry your hands.  If not use your pants like in India.

·       Showers and baths replace the bucket bath.

·       Men should lift the toilet seat to the upright position when urinating, and return it to the down position when finished. Women can do the opposite.

Culinary Habits

·       Breakfast is often between 7am to 8am, lunch is at 12pm (noon) and dinner is often a 6pm.  These are general times, as family schedules can change these periods. Eating at 8pm often happens after one has gone out to a show or movie.

·       Children, men and women eat together, at the same time for meals, but not necessarily the same thing.

·       When eating, you generally use a fork and other types of cutlery.  Eating with the hands is allowed only for certain “finger foods” and for confectionary.

·       It is not taboo to use your left hand for eating.

·       Dessert comes at the end of a meal with tea and/or coffee.

·       Tipping waiters is between 15% to 20% (unless a gratuity charge is indicated on the bill).

·       Chinese vegetarian food is very different from Indian vegetarian, you have to try some.

·       Most people eat meat, so the term non-veg is not used. You are either a meat eater (carnivore) or a vegetarian, vegan, fruitarian or something else.

·       You can drink water right from the tap, but many people also use water filters, or purchase bottled water ( which is 90% the same as tap water but bottled).

·       When eating out, people generally sit for around 30 minutes to an hour after the meal having coffee and talking before asking for the bill, we consider this an important part of eating out.

Chauvinism

·       An older courtesy requires men to allow women to enter a doorway first and the man will hold the door open for her, and will pull out a chair for a woman to sit on (that is if she wants to sit).

·       In addition, men will stand when a new arrival (male or female) to the table arrives. Your choice.

·       Many modern business women wear suits that look similar to men’s suits.

Legal Issues

·       Never attempt to bribe a police officer, it could land you in jail.

·       Police carry guns and often also have tasers (which is an electroshock incapacitant weapon used for subduing a person by administering electric shock aimed at disrupting superficial muscle functions).

Some Driving Issues

·       When driving and your car is approached by an emergency vehicle, such as a police car, ambulance or fire vehicle that has its lights flashing and sirens on, you must immediately pull over and let them pass. If you are on the opposite side of the road you must also slow down and even stop to make sure they have a clear and safe right of way.

·       Be advised, if you rent a car, traffic tickets are a major source of income for the police, don’t speed etc., and don’t park in non-parking zones or without putting money in the parking meter.

·       Don’t rent a car until you talk to me first, car rental companies will get you to take out all sorts of insurances and options you don’t need.

·       In some cities, you need to find this out when you visit different cities, when you are driving you are allowed to turn right at a red traffic light after you stop and the way is clear.  This is not allowed in Montreal and New York City. Right not left!

·       Driving while Under the Influence of any intoxicant, even of prescription drugs, is illegal.
 ·       Vehicles entering a main road do not have the right of way and must stop until the way is clear.

·       Drive in lanes only, you will be ticketed if you drive down the lines on the road.

·       In Canada, vehicles have daylight running head lights, which are on all the time. But you must turn on all the regular lights at night as well.

·       Horn honking is rarely used unless you’re a goose.

·       There is a difference between Yielding and Merging.  Of course, not all North American drivers know this either.

·       Drivng while using a cell phone or other device, such as an iPod is not allowed in most places. Pull over to talk. No text messaging while driving either.

• Re Bicycles: In some cities like Toronto, children are required by law to wear a bicycle helmet. Most adults wear them too.

Waiting At the Train Station

I was standing on the platform waiting for the train as I was returning home from Gurgaon, just south of Delhi where I was meeting with the head of Cairn’s corporate responsibility department when I started a discussion with a well dressed elderly Indian man. He told me he had two doctorates, one in philosophy and one in economics. He was also very knowledgeable in geography as during our discussion he could name all the Great Lakes in Canada/US.

Our conversation moved into a discussion on the poor in India, as it usually does given the work I am in. We talked about how the poverty index was an inaccurate and outdated measurement of the poor, as it only considered how many calories a person ate to determine their status. (this has recently changed to encompass a better measure. The World Bank estimates that 456 million Indians or 42% of the total Indian population, now live under the global poverty line of $1.25 per day. Enterprises in the Unorganized Sector (NCEUS) found that 77% of Indians, or 836 million people, lived on less than 20 rupees per day. Reference is Wikipedia)
As we spoke another man who was standing nearby was listening intently to our conversation. He couldn’t resist the urge to step in and challenge the assertions of poverty we were discussing. He was a professor of mechanical engineering at Gurgaon University, and was very concerned that I had the wrong impression of India. He did agree that the amount of poor was always going to be determined on how you measure them and that the huge population of India was going to make these issues appear much greater in raw numbers. But he felt that there were not as many poor in the country as I indicated and in any case, the situation was improving. I told him I hoped he was right, that would be great for India and its people.
The train then came down the track and I had a problem. I had a reservation in coach B3. It turned out that on this train there were two B3s. Which one should I choose? I went to the Enquires desk and the man there, who fortunately spoke English told me that the B3 in the front end of the train went to Barmer and the one in the back went to Jaisalmer. Up until then I was very impressed with the India rails system, but why couldn’t they just give one of the B3 coaches another name? Then, to add to the confusion, there are lighted sign posts on the platform which tell you where each coach will stop. I waited by the B3 sign near towards the front of the train. But the B3 coach it didn’t stop there and so I started to run towards the back of the train to find the coach. It could have been a kilometer run (it was a very long train) and the train only stops for about 5 minutes. Fortunately the coach was only a few back from where it was supposed to be and I got on to find my seat waiting for me. All’s well that ends well. November 27, 2009

"Experience is not what happens to a man.

It is what a man does with what has happened to him" - Aldous Huxley